Refusing to Surrender

Hello my friends, I appreciate you stopping by my blog.

Emotional Rollercoaster. That best describes my year so far, which was further magnified last month. This damn virus.

But first up, is the happiest news ever. My son, Nicholas, has been home with us for several weeks now!!! My daughter, Katy, and her husband just brought our 2nd grandchild into the world!!! AMEN!!! What a ray of sunshine during this time.

Our growing family ❤️

I had arthroscopic knee surgery on March 3rd, right before our world would forever be changed by the Coronavirus. The struggle bus showed up when my post op recovery wasn’t going fast enough for me. Since I’m Super Woman, I assumed I was an exception to the post op recovery guidelines… I may be at my healthiest having lost over 50 lbs from WW (Weight Watchers Reimagined), best shape of my life thanks to my regimen of walking, yoga & Orangetheory, none of this which would be possible without my sobriety of over 6 years, BUT….. I am 54 and surgery is surgery. Recovery from any surgery takes time. Which means this girl needs to practice patience!!!

Day 1 Post Op
Day 27 Post Op with Nicholas

My physical limitations on top of the pandemic, was paralyzing me. Everyone was kicking into gear, taking advantage of their newfound free time by exercising, cooking, spring cleaning, etc. And here I sit feeling confined & restricted. My only source of exercise is physical therapy. I was unmotivated and restless to do anything else. Quite frankly, it made me angry.

I fought every day to do something. Anything. I will NOT surrender to the fear and anxiety I was experiencing. I continued to search for something to help me get out of this hole I kept getting deeper into. And then, I found it. Rachel Hollis!!! There was something in her Instagram story on March 31st that really spoke to me. Actually, it felt like she was speaking directly to me. I promptly signed up for her Next 90 Challenge. Week one’s topic is Perspective.

Perspective is a noun. We can only control our attitude and our effort.

If you haven’t signed up for it, ITS FREE, I highly recommend it.

I also made the commitment to Consecration to St. Joseph, which has already deeply affected my Catholic faith.

Nicholas & I decided to focus more on goals for the month of April, and decided to forego caffeine. Personally, the ONLY thing I was drinking was coffee. All. Day. Long. Regular coffee in addition to my daily Starbucks espresso shot drink. Well, no wonder my anxiety was through the roof. NOT GOOD. April 1st, I had NO coffee at all, but my head was about to explode. So on April 2nd, I had one cup of coffee. I’m having that morning cup, and half of a cup in the afternoon and NO Starbucks. Moderation. I’ve replaced coffee drinking all day long with drinking WATER all day long!!! That is a HUGE change. Only days into my drastic cutback of caffeine and huge intake of water, I’m already feeling SO MUCH BETTER!!!

Regardless of my daily struggles, I will NOT self-medicate, and for that I’m grateful. Like mentioned before, without my sobriety, none of this would be possible. I had this pic pop up on my Facebook memories. Why would I dare post this? Because this is my reality. There is nothing relaxing or fun about having “a drink”. It gets messy. Fast. This is what it looks like, and I need to remind myself of this reality when the glamour of it tries to take over. Have I thought about drinking? Yes, I have. But, I will NOT surrender to my addiction. By the grace of God, I go to bed with the satisfaction that regardless of how my day went, I remain sober. 2,457 days 🙌🏼

Shots. When it came to alcohol, one is too many and a thousand not enough.

I will NOT SURRENDER to fear & anxiety.

I WILL SURRENDER to proper nutrition, gratitude, service to others, deepening my Catholic faith with my St. Joseph consecration and online Mass, meditation through my yoga studio Zoom, giving 💯 to physical therapy, patience with myself and others.

Imagine with all your mind ~ Believe with all your heart ~ Achieve with all your might ~

Life With Lisa 💕

16 thoughts on “Refusing to Surrender

  1. Lisa my friend, you got this! I have every confidence in you! You are indeed Superwoman. Having surgery sucks and recovery can be tough but you’ll get through it 💕💕 Stay strong my friend. Be safe and continue to count your blessings. Your family is beautiful 🦋😃

    Liked by 1 person

  2. to my friend around the world Super Woman, grats on your success so far far; very awesome to hear of the family time which is by far the best. One day at a time my friend, keep up the excellent progress, many hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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